The 2016 Election Experiment

I’m starting to feel like the world we’re currently living in is the product of two parallel universes colliding, thereby spawning a super massive black hole of chaos.
What other explanation could there be for this madness?!

Up is down, left is right, good is bad, men can use the women's restrooms, climate change is the cause of Isis, air conditioners are dangerous. It's like a whole new reality.


It's akin to a combination of Wonderland, The Twilight Zone and a Tim Burton movie. A page out of a 'Mad Libs' book makes more sense.



The other night I was frustrated with things about the election, so I decided to sort of decompress by rambling on my laptop here. It was a little weird, but also therapeutic.

Here it is: 



I’m beginning to think that this election is an experiment masterminded by aliens.

They’ve separated us into two focus groups: The Haves and the Have Nots. The HAVES are those individuals in society that look at the facts and employ common sense. They exercise their brains through critical thinking, so their neurons are constantly firing. They aren’t fooled by celebrities, smoke and mirrors, and habitual liars that get away with murder.

They think Juan Williams is an idiot.

The HAVE NOTS on the other hand are frequent guests on Watters’ World. They’re those mindless Zombies that fall into several sub categories. There are the “Kumbaya-I-believe-in-talking-pink-unicorns-that-smell-like-cotton-candy-and-I-love-happy-glitter-and-Hillary-Clinton-is-my-role-model-because-she-sits-down-when-she-goes-to-the-toilet-just-like-me” people….. the “We-Hate-America-and-all-the-freedoms-we-have-so-I’m-just-gonna-say-I-effin-hate-America-and-I’m-gonna-burn-this-flag-now-because-I-want-to-be-on-television!” people… and lastly, the “My-feelings-are-hurt-because-I-like-chocolate-milk-with-my-breakfast-but-my-roommate-prefers-1-percent-milk-and-I’m-offended-by-1-percent-milk-because-it’s-a-beverage-that-reminds-me-of-the-elite-1-percent-of-this-country-like-Donald-Trump-and-Hillary-says-Trump-is-dangerous-and-says-mean-things-so-I-can-never-drink-milk-so-long-as-Donald-Trump-breathes-so-can-I-go-to-my-safe-space-now-please?” people.

The HAVES will be the ones protected from being abducted by the aliens for further experimentation. They’ll be protected because they’re capable of rescuing themselves. They are already distrustful of what their eyes see and their ears hear, and what they see and hear at the entrance of the Mothership is Geraldo Rivera standing inside the mist with a microphone in his hand.

There’s just no way in hell they’re getting on that ship.


Alternatively, the HAVE NOTS will walk right on to the Mothership because the alien’s clever 2016 Presidential Election Experiment has proven that the HAVE NOTS believe everything their eyes see and their ears hear…. and what the HAVE NOTS will see and hear this coming November will be Hillary Clinton beckoning them towards the Mothership with Bernie Sanders at her side, promising a cornucopia of free education, free healthcare, and Donald Trump free safe zones behind every oak tree of any dog park.


The HAVE NOTS will continue to exist inside their little Wonderland bubble, getting poked and probed by 4-foot aliens whereas THE HAVES will continue to drink their 1 percent milk without seeing tears in any millennial's eyes.

Unfortunately for the HAVES, a life devoid of the HAVE NOTS is not all roses and Red Bull’s.

Juan Williams is still with them. The aliens didn’t want him.